i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
