i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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