so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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