are you so shy because you have an std?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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