My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
