yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
