it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
