Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
