i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
