Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
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