they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Welp...herpes.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Randomize
