Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
