An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
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There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
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The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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