dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
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