He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
