Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
too bad you live with your parents still
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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