Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
