if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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