lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
How's work?
Spinning.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
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