we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
