Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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