evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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