Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
