Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
this will be a night to untag.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize