he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize