After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
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