My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
