Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
