I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
