What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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