I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
