So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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