we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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