What a fucking waste of an outfit
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
