I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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