Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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