I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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