Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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