shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
