dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I feel like death gave me a hand job
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
