just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Im part way to drunk.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
