He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
