I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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