umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You're a waste of cheezeits
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
