a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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