I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
