I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
