Farmville is her only friend.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
we should paint friendship bongs
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