Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Randomize