I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize