I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
