did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
