your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
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