Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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