so that wasnt chicken after all
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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