I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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