She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
