I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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