i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
