just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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