My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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