Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
