Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
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