Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
