i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
